Nurse Wisdom from the ICU at OHSU (4.2.19)
“Being vulnerable and asking for help is not weakness. Gritting your teeth, clenching your fist and steeling yourself weakens you and saps your energy. Asking for help is a courageous act. Asking for help summons forth your strength because our strength is found in each other. Your wife’s care team is larger than the medical team on this unit. It includes the team that cares for you. Allowing others to care for you is the best way to care for your wife.”
Healing is not a relationship between an expert and a problem. Healing is a relationship between human beings in a network of mutuality and care. There is no such thing as the healer and the healed. We are all healers of one another. We live in the shelter of each other. Our strength is found in each other. Asking for help flexes the heart muscles of our circle of love. Asking for help allows others to help. Helping allows us to express the best and truest parts of ourselves. When we pretend we don’t need anyone and we can manage on our own it actually prevents all of us from living the best version of ourselves.
Anne Lamott said that life is one big emergency room ( or ICU ).We’re all in this together. You’re either the one being cared for or the one doing the caring. The roles will reverse. If you’re doing ok you need to take the tenderest care of those who aren’t ok knowing that you are really caring for each other.
My discomfort in asking for help reflects my true weakness. My strength is found in acknowledging I need you. We need each other.