Aug 16th: Finding God Along the Way, with Becky Elmendorf.

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Finding God Along the Way, with Becky Elmendorf. Series: The Word That Found Me. A Spacious Christianity, First Presbyterian Church of Bend, Oregon. Scripture: Matthew 5:3; Matthew 5:4; Jeremiah 29:11-13.
Feeling like you’re at the end of your rope? This Sunday’s message offers gentle hope for those carrying loss and searching for a future that feels out of reach. Join us in Bend, online or in person to hear stories of grace, find a supportive community, and discover small steps toward peace. No matter where you are in life, you’re welcome to listen, share, and be encouraged. We’d love to see you with us.
Transcript:
Speaker 0 00:00:00 Hello, I am Becky Almanor. I’ve been a member of First Presbyterian Church for the past five years, ever since I moved to Bend. This was the first place I saw it after thinking, deciding to move here. You see, during my 82 years, Oregon is the seventh state. I’ve lived in . I’ve had some interesting experiences in Texas where I was born on an Army Air Force base during World War ii, Indiana, where I grew up and learned to ride a bike and went to kindergarten through college graduation, California, where I went to graduate school, fell back in love and married a Hoosier who came after me, Arizona and Michigan, where I followed my new husband and teaching math and hiking every trio we could find in the Grand Canyon and Washington where we had two children. I was elected to a school board, went back to teaching, and was named principal of a new high school.
Speaker 0 00:01:00 Should I mention that I got to serve on a few Presbyterian church sessions along the way too? That’s really much more than you wanted to know about me, isn’t it? Well, I, from the day I was born, I have loved to talk . My dad used to say, I did this to hear my head rattle. He’d probably say that about many times about politicians today. My poor younger sister didn’t even learn to talk for a long time since I saw myself as her interpreter. That love of talking has come in handy at times. I’ve made lots of friends, built wonderful relationships, drawn some folks out of their shells and learned so many things. But on other occasions, my gift of gab has definitely launched me into trouble. I’ve noticed that Steven gives us session members lessons on listening from time to time is that aimed at me.
Speaker 0 00:02:00 Probably no matter where we were living, I would find my hand shooting up to ask a question, volunteer for a task, or to agree to investigate something that nobody else seemed to care about. I was an inquisitive student, an enthusiastic high school math teacher, an involved parent, and a questioning high school principal. I ran for office, agreed to write a newspaper column, served on boards and committees thinking I might have more impact than I probably did. Typically, I found myself in the middle of a mess, filled with controversy and conflict. My husband would ask why every organization I found myself leading experienced so much trouble. I told him that it was because I turned over rocks and found bad things underneath, but I, I just kept smiling and trying to find solutions. Someone asked me once why I was always smiling. I replied, uh, maybe I just don’t really understand this situation.
Speaker 0 00:03:08 What kept me going? The love of a family and a husband who always reminded me of what was really important and knowing that God was there to catch me no matter what. How was I so sure of this? Well, I should tell you that I can probably count on two hands the number of Sundays that I didn’t go to church with my parents and then with our growing family. Dad was a choir director. Mom was the church organist, always sang in the choir and then later directed some. I grew up in a big campus church being taught by really great preachers. I was literally fed by the word every Sunday morning as my husband and I moved around the country, military orders, and then, um, his career in Parks and Recreation. We continued to seek out the best preaching, and I gotta tell you that the sermons that spoke straight to us were usually in Presbyterian churches.
Speaker 0 00:04:09 That had probably begun with my great admiration for Peter Marshall. Do you remember that book? And then the movie, A man called Peter. I really liked discovering that Scottish immigrant who became chaplain of the United States Senate. One of my favorite quotes of his is this one. God will probably not permit any troubles to come upon us unless he has a specific plan by which great blessing can come out of that difficulty. During those moves and my meddling in community politics, , I relied on scripture again and again and came to deeply appreciate Eugene Peterson’s version of the Beatitudes. Here’s how he rewrote Matthew five, three for the message. You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you, there is more of God and his rule. Grabbing my hand. God found me hanging at the end of that rope many times, usually one that I had probably created myself.
Speaker 0 00:05:19 This is followed by Matthew five, four. You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the one most dear to you. My family was most dear to me. I’d met my future husband in a calculus class in college, . He decided it would be easier to marry a math major than to be one, and he switched to parks and recreation. He had a rocky relationship through college, breaking up many times before graduation when he joined the Marines and I went to California. I had accepted a job in Switzerland when he arrived in San Francisco in preparation for his tour in Vietnam and convinced me to marry him. After all . He promised me the Matterhorn and it took me a while to figure out that he meant the one at Disneyland. He loved to tell this story ending with, and you thought she was the brighter one.
Speaker 0 00:06:21 We had quite a life together, laughing and crying our way through adventure. Upon adventure as we moved from place to place, welcomed two incredibly interesting children, a boy and a girl made our marks in leadership in our communities, welcomed four grandchildren, retired at the top of our games, and then continued traveling to our heart’s content through all 50 states and 45 countries. We used to laugh and say that when you grow up in Indiana, you’re always planning your escape. Wonderful, wonderful people, but really flat land. We were celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary in Kauai when my husband boogie boarding and surfing with our grandsons, had a sudden heart attack and died. Consider how we all hoped to go on to more life in a beautiful place like Alai Bay with people we love, like our grandchildren, having a time of our lives playing in the water.
Speaker 0 00:07:22 It was just perfect for him. Here’s a picture of Byron, the one on the left, taken on China Beach in Vietnam 50 years before the other that was taken just shortly before he died. He doesn’t appear to be struggling, does he and could have been his middle name. He completely embraced his this life. I found myself struggling though with what had been my other favorite section of the Bible. Jeremiah’s assurance to the Babylonians that the Lord had a plan for them and therefore for me too. Well that plan had worked fine for us so far. Loving husband, a great family, our successful jobs, our retirements, our travel. What kind of new plan was this in Jeremiah 29, 11 through 13, the prophet told the Jewish exiles, for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Was my hope and my future gone now a future without the one who had given me such joy surrounded by our son and daughter, our grandkids, our church, and our friends and neighbors. In Bellingham, we organized a celebration of
Speaker 1 00:08:54 His life attended by 500 people. On December 7th, 2017, Byron had been a collector of people as he directed the city parks department. Later in October of the next year, 76 of our relatives and good friends flew to Washington, DC to witness his burial with full military honors at Arlington National Cemetery. The Marine Corps really knows how to honor their lieutenant colonels. As you can see in this picture, I adjusted to the knowledge that walking the dog by myself, realizing there would be no more cuddling, having to make all the decisions alone, had evidently been in God’s plan for me. After all, after 45 years, helping build that community, our minister comforted me with the fact that selling our home and moving to Bend was a gift I was giving our children. You see, both my beloved parents died having Alzheimer’s back in Indiana, so that’d been the back of my mind for a long time.
Speaker 1 00:09:59 But leaving our home, overlooking the bay and islands to go to the high desert, really our daughter and her husband had moved their family to bend, and she kept telling me that I was only one broken water pipe away from a disaster in that big house by myself. She must have been clairvoyant. I realized because the people who bought our home broke a water pipe and experienced a disaster. A year later, I found what awaited me at this church, though singing in the choir and reading scripture when invited, I found myself back at high school events, chairing my grandsons at graduation and in football and lacrosse, and there was a need for me to serve on the council at Touchmark where I live welcoming and introducing new people. And every morning I awakened to that trail that beckons me to the river below my place.
Speaker 1 00:10:51 I really pinch myself every morning now knowing I am where I belong. So I think I’d have to say that I’m, I’m happy here, although I sure miss our son and his family up north and the chance to go crabbing on our boat in the San Juan Islands. I long to be able to play my viola again in the great symphony that is there, and one grandson I moved here to be near has already gone back to the University of Washington and the other will take off after his senior year starting this fall. Touchmark still seems to still need me. However, before I stop, I do wanna tell you something kind of funny. Those of you who’ve been in the military know that an important document that you get is the DD two 14 form you’re given at this. At discharge, I cannot tell you the number of times that my husband showed me where that form was kept.
Speaker 1 00:11:46 He reminded me that I’d need it for his benefits and how much he wished to be buried at Arlington near his brother. So as I flew home from Kauai with his ashes on my lap, I was proud of the fact that I knew exactly where that form was, except there was no form in that place. I so clearly remembered I tore the house apart trying to find it, and finally had to call the Marine Corps for a duplicate. Several months after his burial there, I became aware of the fact that a very good friends of ours was dying of pancreatic cancer, and in her final days, Janice was a master carbon who, who had not only built her own solid home, but had created a wonderful den in our home, filled with bookcases and desks. I called to tell her goodbye and mentioned that I was pretty sure she would see Byron before I did.
Speaker 1 00:12:41 I asked her if she would relay my regrets to him about a few things. at the top of that list was how bad I felt about losing the DD two 14 form. You know, when you never get to say goodbye, you have thoughts about what you wish you could have said? Well, she died soon thereafter, and a few weeks later, the gal who helped me clean our home told me that the shelves in that den were sitting at a funny angle, , when I went up to adjust it myself, I a from behind the shelf came that DD two 14 form in a special binding he’d been given at his retirement, and I couldn’t help but laugh knowing that Janice and Byron had together figured out a plan. May we each rest in God’s strong arms assured that he knows us and loves us more than we can imagine. I hope you can smile and laugh and remember how incredibly lucky we all are all the time, no matter what we uncover or what we experience in our lives.