Oct 13th: Love Anyway…Don’t Be A Jerk, with Rev. Dr. Steven Koski.
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Rev. Dr. Steven Koski
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Love Anyway…Don’t Be A Jerk with Rev. Dr. Steven Koski. Series: A Braver Way A Spacious Christianity, First Presbyterian Church of Bend, Oregon. Scripture: Mark 7.24-30.
Join us this Sunday to hear a thought-provoking message on loving others, even those we disagree with. Whether online or in-person, come with an open mind and heart as we explore what it means to love alike, not just think alike. All are welcome!
Transcript:
You don’t have to think alike to love alike. Let that sink in for a moment. Learning to Love alike, even though we may hold very different beliefs, think differently, vote differently, but learning to love alike may be one of our most important challenges right now, the real test of our Christian faith isn’t how much we love Jesus, but whether we’re willing to love those we consider to be Judas. The test of our faith is learning to love those we find most difficult to love when it’s so much easier to judge and hate and condemn. You know, I’d like $1 for every time someone has said to me, Well, I’m spiritual, but, but not religious. I don’t need church. I find God in nature. Well, I too, experience the Holy, the sacred in nature. I mean, how hard is that? That’s that’s pretty easy. The real challenge, the real challenge is finding God in the annoying person sitting next to you in the pew who not only voted for the wrong political party but sings loudly off key and cheers for the football team that you despise. Finding God In Nature won’t change the world. Being open, learning to love the person you find really hard to love, just could possibly change the world. Episcopalian priest Barbara brown Taylor wrote, The real purpose of a church community is is not to be a refuge of like minded people, but to give ourselves up to the working of the Holy Spirit by learning how to live with and love people who not only don’t think like us, but people we may not like at all. In other words, don’t be a jerk. You noticed it’s possible, possible to to believe all the right things and still be a jerk? So maybe living a life that reflects the love of Jesus isn’t necessarily only about our beliefs and insisting we’re right. Maybe it’s possessing the kind of humility that seeks to love those we may not even like very much. I mean, nowhere does Jesus ever say agree with one another or like one another. Everywhere scripture says love one another. We don’t have to think alike to love alike. I mean, what if we stopped using labels like Republican or Democrat, conservative or liberal, believer or non believer, right or left? What if we tried a different label, open or closed. Is your mind open or closed? Is your heart open or closed? Are your ears open to really listen and learn, or are they closed? Convinced you, convinced you you already know. Is your spirit open and generous where there’s room for difference, or is your spirit closed in judgment, in fear? I want to share a couple stories from the Gospel of Mark about Jesus, where, honestly, Jesus was initially kind of a jerk, and then his mind and his heart opened. These two stories are shmushed together. That’s a fancy theological term to suggest that scholars believe these stories were purposefully put one after the other. The first story is about a Syrophoenician woman from Mark chapter seven, starting at verse 24 it says Jesus retreated to the region of Tyr. Tyr was on the Mediterranean coast, northwest of Galilee, predominantly a Gentile area, you know, where the other lived there. Jesus entered a house. He didn’t want anyone to know he was there, yet he could not escape notice. A woman whose little daughter had an unclean spirit heard that Jesus was there, and she came and bowed down at his feet. Now the woman was a Gentile of SyroPhoenician origin. She begged Jesus to cast the demon out of her daughter. Jesus said to her, let the children be fed first. For. It’s not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs. She answered him, Sir, even the dogs under the table eat the children’s crumbs. Then Jesus said to her, for saying that you may go the demons have left your daughter, she went home, found the child lying on the bed, and the demon gone. Wow. I mean, what do you make of this story? Honestly, at first, Jesus is really kind of a jerk. It says, Jesus retreated. You know, he’s trying to get away from the crowd, just for a little R and R. I mean, who can blame him? The crowds have been pressing, demanding things from him, and he just wants a moment to breathe. But the people in the village found found out that he’s there. Now, this woman has a daughter, the writer describes as being possessed by demons, which is how they describe mental illness in that day. I mean, the mother is desperate, and that’s something we all can relate to, right? When somebody, somebody we love, there’s something wrong with them. So this woman throws herself at the feet of Jesus, begs, please, please, do something for my daughter. Jesus’s response is stunning. Not only does he initially reject her, but then he insults her, likening her to a dog. I mean, what’s up with that? I mean, come on, Jesus, don’t be such a jerk. Jesus dismisses her, let’s be honest. Who do we dismiss? Who do we insult? Now, I’ve read a variety of Bible commentaries and theologians about this, this particular passage that that actually try really hard to make excuses for Jesus and His rude behavior to for me, none are actually very satisfying, and neither is it satisfying when, when we try to justify and make excuses for our own offensive behavior, rather than own it and accept responsibility. So here’s what I’m curious about, and actually find really hopeful. Could it be that that we see the humanity of Jesus in this story? I think we see that this this Jewish man. I mean, Jesus was a Jewish man. I think we see this Jewish man is informed by the conventions of his culture that have shaped him since he was a little boy. I mean, Jews should not be in contact with Gentiles. I mean, they they are dirty, they are unclean, they are the other. They are the enemy. Men should not have any conversations with women coming up to them. Now, I suspect that cultural conditioning influenced Jesus’s initial response, but the woman in the story, she would not be denied. I mean, her love for her daughter was stronger than the insults from Jesus. She is the one who’s going to break down the barriers. She refuses to be so easily dismissed. She keeps talking to Jesus. She stays engaged with Jesus. You know, I actually wonder if the back and forth between them went on for some time, until eventually Jesus says, okay, okay, I see you. I feel your pain. I hear your story go home, your daughter is well, what’s amazing to me about the story is that the daughter in the story is not the only person changed. Now this may be a new idea, but isn’t it possible that Jesus, too is changed from this moment on? From this moment on, Jesus comes to understand that the scope of his mission is broader and wider than anything he first imagined. From this moment on, Jesus’s own circle of love becomes wider as he begins to understand that the embrace of God’s love includes all God’s children, whether they be Jew or Gentile, male or female. You.
I actually think Jesus is is stretched and changed in this story. Now, I don’t know about how you feel about the notion that Jesus was actually a little bit of a work in progress. Personally, I find that idea kind of comforting, because I’m very much, I’m very much a work in progress. I think we all are fundamentally we believe that the Spirit of God was fully present in Jesus. Now, isn’t it possible that that spirit wasn’t wasn’t static, but continually stretching his mind, his heart, his spirit? Isn’t it possible that Jesus was learning and growing, and that his love was becoming more and more and more expansive. Isn’t that the work of the Spirit in our lives, in this story, Jesus’s heart becomes larger, making room for those he was taught as a child to judge, to exclude, to insult. Is your mind more open and does your heart have more room for those you’ve been taught to judge, to exclude, those you’ve dismissed and insulted in the past. What might it mean for us if we’re actually curious about the idea that that Jesus has changed in the story, and he becomes more open. I absolutely love the irony that this woman comes and she opens Jesus’s eyes and ears. And the very next story, you know, the story that smushed next to next to that one the very next story Jesus. Jesus is opening the ears of another. Again, scholars believe it’s not an accident that these stories are put one after the other. So the gospel of Mark continues in chapter seven. It just kind of continues from the other story. And it says, Then g then Jesus returned from the region of Tyr and he went by the way of Sidon towards the Sea of Galilee in the region of Decapolis. They brought to Jesus a deaf man who had an impediment in his speech. They begged Jesus to lay his hands on him. Jesus took him aside in private away from the crowd, and he put his finger into his ears, and he spat and touched his tongue, then looking up to heaven, Jesus sighed and said, Eph fadah. Eph fadah, which means be opened. And immediately his ears were opened, his tongue was released, and he spoke plainly. I think this is such an important story. I like to imagine Jesus as saying to each and every one of us at this critical moment in history, be opened. Be opened. Be open to seeing the humanity in one another. Be open to understanding that each of us is beloved in God’s eyes, even the ones you don’t like very much. Be opened to seeing the pain behind the eyes of people who might be right in front of you. Be open to considering how you might have had some part in that pain. Be open to the suffering of others, making room in your heart for their pain. Be open to curiosity. Let go of judgment. Be open to letting go of the need to be right. You know, it doesn’t actually mean you’re wrong. It just means you value the other person, you value the relationship, and you want to keep the dialog going, be open to learning, to growing, to changing. Be open to the fact that those who might have something to teach us aren’t necessarily the folks that we might have expected to be our teachers. You. Jesus certainly found that in today’s story, the Syrophoenician woman, the least likely person was his teacher. Now imagine if we approached every conversation, every encounter we have with another, not trying to win to prove our point, to be right, to convince, but instead to learn, to grow, to allow our minds to expand and our and our hearts to be enlarged. Less armor, more learning more love be opened. That’s the work of the Spirit. Be opened. The real challenge of our faith is not how much we love Jesus, but how open we are to learning to love Jesus. Judas, I have a friend whose neighbor and a large political sign in his yard for the candidate my friend vehemently opposes. And one day he came home from work and he he actually noticed someone had destroyed the sign, left it in pieces on his neighbor’s front lawn. The next day, my friend knocked on his neighbor’s door with a with a brand new sign and a cup of coffee for himself and one for his neighbor, and he said, I know we disagree. I know we disagree vehemently about some things, but it’s not okay that your sign was destroyed. So here’s a new one, and here’s a coffee. Do you have a few minutes? Maybe we can get to know each other a little bit better. Be opened. Be opened. Oh, and yeah, don’t be a jerk. You don’t have to think alike to love alike. Do.
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